Gendered Eyes – a poem for Pulse

Gendered Eyes

I walked into Pulse
asked for a shandy
broke as a dollar bill rising
sea change of clothes like skin

I asked for Mandy… pause…who..
“who?” as if
“it?” was “who?”
breath hanging in air recoiling

automatic I talked about
Sandy – Hook not bottom
school not borderline innuendo
comparing people to wardrobes

once entered in celebration
un-this in childhood utopia
spells of euphoria dampening
Stonewalling after work like dew shook off

in the glare of exposed sun and heat
we crowded round the doorway
spider’s web stuck like ducks
in a pond

I pretended to be dead
a stubby hook for clothes
freedom a heartbeat echoing
beside the murdered smiles




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